We see the words “Arguing is great for our relationships”; our first instinct is to reject the concept. Why? The word “Argue” has become a bad word. We believe it’s the absence of logic, and nothing will get accomplished. Causing us to keep our thoughts to ourselves, retreat in solitude, and avoid conflict. Then, we wonder why our esteem is so low.

Arguments are where the merging of ideas takes place. An article in Psychology Today titled “The Benefits Of Arguing” backs this point. Views are where the merging of ideas takes place. It is our way to assess all the information to form best practices. Conflict will happen within any long-term relationship. It is healthy. If disagreements are not happening, someone is holding back. When people hold back, they will explode, or we will come home one day and their clothes are gone. Those who avoid confrontation are not in relationships. They are so focused on themselves that they can’t connect with others.

“Arguing Is Great For Our Relationships.” we are not saying all arguing is good or everyone knows how to argue. Yet, purposefully arguing is necessary for our relationships’ health and accountability. Picture being in a relationship with no conflicts occurring. Nobody goes up when they should go down, every idea is agreed upon in its exception, and everyone stays on their side of the line. Now, picture people who disagree with the sole purpose of moving forward together. What Relationship do you want?

Relationships are to connect, not to avoid disconnecting.

Think about the sentence.

We are connecting not to disconnect vs. connecting because we are confident we can resolve disconnections. We want authentic relationships, not relationships that are governed by fear. Arguing will get us that authenticity.

 

How do we argue to make our Relationship more authentic?

When people believe they can disagree and not lose but gain closeness. They are more inclined to share their thoughts. When Relationships revolve around best practices, we argue to promote collectivity, not a singular agenda. The objective is to strengthen the bond, arguing with purpose. 

Remember, we create relationships to challenge and enhance the identities involved, prioritizing the collective health. That enhancement comes in the form of challenging each other’s biases. We all have Biases, whether conscious or unconscious. For example, when raised in a traditional home, we can believe women do one thing and men do others. We can have a spouse or friends who believe something different. Without having the ability to address those differences, there would be a divide in the Relationship. Arguing allows us to discuss these topics and change minds while enriching the quality of our bonds in the process. 

Think about it. 

What we fear about arguing is people’s egos. Thinking it will get in the way of progress. Being fearful of the “Ego” is understandable. Ego is an “I thing.” It is more about being validated than promoting best practices. A vice most of us suffer from but can overcome with a shift of mentality, which starts with looking at arguing differently. We shouldn’t fear engaging in the conflict. Again, arguments are a clash of ideas. Ego Arguing prevents them from being one ideal. 

So, embrace the dispute; it will tell us who’s in our life. Are we into drama or resolution? Dramatic people avoid, and Resolvers engage. 

Arguing Is Great For Our Relationships; why we engage makes the difference. 

Think about it. 

The LoveSnobs

What Is Best Practice In Relationships?

What is Best Practice in Relationships? I understand why people say they are “hundred percent” looking to connect with another “hundred percent.” However, we are always a percentage smaller than perfection because portions fluctuate through our soundnesses and shortcomings. We are at our best with a village, like-minds who strive daily to enhance our “percentages.” The most efficient way to accomplish this outcome is by communicating and building bonds with others who will support us where we are inexperienced. It is following the plan that gives us the best chance of success. Everyone should discuss their ideas and find the Practice that best suits the whole. 

---

Best Practice.

The world has a purpose for us. As babies, we are fed by another, developed with others, and part of several. Yet, our goal isn’t just ours. It is a bond. It inspires every person to fulfill their responsibilities, each piece coming together to form a whole. 

---

Best Practice.

As singles become many, we increase our reach. We are nurturing families, multiplying our resources, and advancing Love. If we were born a hundred percent, support wouldn’t be necessary. We would have no room to correct missteps, reconstruct misguided thoughts, or share a hug that evaluates our humanity. We were born to search and find. So when we discover Love, we will be grateful. 

---

Best Practice.

It is not just about being right or wrong, but most functional. As written in a previous blog, “The Four Fundamental Roles of A Village,” we highlighted each person’s role in building a successful support system. Best Practice in relationships is essential to that ideal becoming a reality. Therefore, it takes the proper mentality. The concept is that we are advancing the entire collection above the individual. In the process, confirming “We” should give purpose to “Me.”

---

Best Practice In Relationships.

Instead of “thinking about” feeling whole, think about being a part of something wholesome. You are incomplete, and that is “okay.” Our undone nature allows us to find our people. It reshapes our identity and transitions to identifying; friendships, partnerships, and parenting, using our hearts to connect with others. As a result, we witness the closest existence to perfection; our strengths amplify while we follow others where we are vulnerable. We become one hundred percent! The combination allows us to be decisive in the approach. 

---

We understand everyone wants to feel they don’t need anyone else. They want to consider themselves absolute. But “Best Practice in Relationships” embraces the idea of togetherness. We all function at a higher percentage when we have people covering our left, right, and back. We see from every angle and become purposeful in the process. 

The LoveSnobs

The Four Fundamental Roles Of Village

In Accountable Relationships. We recommend you have the foundation of four fundamental roles of a village: The Leader, The Protector, The Manager, and The Nurturer. Everyone has these traits and qualities based on the room they are in or what roles are missing from their lives. Yet, what makes someone fulfill each position is based on their nature. 

Everyone has a fundamental nature trait. The trait that feels like home and our identities are lost without them. So, we never have to convince a leader to be a leader or a nurturer to be a nurturer because they were born to fill this role. When each person is self-aware, they will flourish in their roles and strengthen their Village in the process. 

The Four Fundamental Roles

---

 

The Leader – The Leader is the one who not only brings everyone together but keeps each person focused on the big picture. Their primary focus is to ensure the strength of the Village. They are conceptual thinkers who speak in plurals (we, us, etc.). Leaders talk this way because they don’t see themselves as singular. They understand it takes a team to build anything worth having. 

Leaders are typically innovators. They see moves ahead, which makes them look crazy until everyone catches up. For this reason, Leaders need people who can see the vision and make it a reality. They need more support than any human on earth.  

Leaders are inspirational and are frequently called manipulators due to their ability to encourage people to believe in an ideal. Leaders can get so caught up in the group they can sometimes lose track of the individual, forcing them to take a step back, supporting the one to strengthen the many. 

Overall, the Leader is wise. They have the power to empower or disempower.

---

The Protector– The Protector is quality assurance. “Operations!” They protect the Leader and support the Nurturer and Manager. The Protector tends to have some anger issues. Their personality can be combative, but they are not afraid to speak their mind. Yet, that same fire protects the group from outside threats. 

When you are a Protector, things have to make sense. Logic is their strong suit, which can make it harder to discuss their emotions. This is when Leaders are great because they encourage Protectors to be more emotionally intelligent. They keep the Protector grounded. 

If you have a Protector in your Village, you never worry because they will protect everyone with their life. 

---

 

The Nurturer: The Nurturer ensures everyone in the relationship has what they need (physically and emotionally). They provide an environment that is always healthy. They are the heartbeat of the Village. Their Loved one’s emotional and physical well-being is vital to them. 

Nurturers are a much-needed part of the Village Foundation. Nurturers tend to be taskers which typically means they are better at assisting people with their needs than connecting with people. They do not speak much but enjoy ensuring others are okay. 

Nurturers are sweet but spicy. They can be forward at awkward times but will show up for a hug or massage right on time. If you have a Nurturer, you’ll never want for anything. 

---

The Manager – The Manager is the scheduler. They make sure everyone’s calendar reflects planned dates. They are a Fundamental Role, ensuring everyone is on time for every event and appointment; they can even be your alarm clock. Like the Nurturer, they assist the group with needs but mentally. 

They can get overwhelmed when something doesn’t go according to plan. They occasionally need one of the other roles to reel them in (preferably the Leader). Yet, when they are at their best, a Manager doesn’t skip a beat. They get passion from people who enjoy something they plan from beginning to end. They make dreams a reality.

When you have a Manager in the group, you never have to wonder how your week looks. They have you covered. Details are their superpower. They take pride in making sure things are running smoothly.

 

---

When we have a Village foundation of a Leader, Protector, Manager, and Nurturer, there aren’t any difficult obstacles to overcome. Of course, we can have more people within our Village, but the fundamental pieces of the Village should operate around these four Fundamental Roles. They can be two couples, four friends, parents, children, or any other combination within the Accountable Relationship structure. But we recommend all four roles are present. If not, the other people will have to fulfill that role collectively, putting a strain on the entire Village. 

So, read this Blog with your core group or Village and see each person’s fundamental role. Encourage one another to excel in your perspective purpose and watch everyone shine. 

 

The Lovesnobs

Emotional Intelligence in relationships is a process. It is essential to build accountable relationships. Emotional Intelligence is a term many people have heard, maybe even researched, and studied. Yet, how many people understand the process? Well, in this blog, we are going to do just that. It defines Emotional Intelligence and explains the process and how to use it within our relationships. 

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is most often defined as the ability to perceive, use, understand, manage, and handle emotions. As stated by (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence)

Now that we have defined our term. The question is, how do we actualize and build stronger connections through Emotional Intelligence? 

First, we must stop thinking emotions vary to the individual. 

Emotions were designed to allow us to become more interconnected, not forge division. So, when experiencing happiness, anger, or fear, we must realize and have a set definition of the emotions to understand them. Continuously changing the descriptions to fit circumstances instead of understanding their connective meanings is confusing.

Second, align the “correct” emotion with the adequate experience. 

We all know the person that has a hard time being vulnerable, so they laugh to keep from crying at a funeral, fixate on a missed shot though they won the championship, or punch you in the arm when you tell them you Love them. It is how that individual handles these moments, but it is a sign of a lack of Emotional Intelligence. Responding inaccurately to an emotion creates a disconnect, and as stated before, emotions are supposed to connect us. 

Third, identify if the emotion will advance or hinder our relationships. 

When interacting, we have to start with the bases that everyone feels. We all can feel different feelings within the same experience. Like on a rollercoaster, some are terrified, while others are excited. Both people have been on five or more rollercoasters. The intent is to be excited, which is a rational emotion. The enthusiastic person understands they don’t have control once on the coaster. They are ready to embrace the experience. The scared person is terrified for several reasons: they are trying to prove something to someone or themselves. Second, they think they have more control than deciding to get on the coaster (which is irrational.) Same with a relationship. You will understand and honor your agreements if you genuinely want to be committed. But, if you join any bond for the wrong reasons, you will sabotage the relationship.

The three processes listed above are how we can prepare to interact with others by becoming more emotionally intelligent. Now, we can discuss how we can actualize it. When connecting with others.  

 

Actualizing Emotional Intelligence in relationships has three processes: Active, Proactive, and Reactive. Most people have seen this process arranged differently (proactive, active, and reactive.) Yet, in real-time, the method is different. So, let’s get into the explanation of why.

Active Emotion– When we are feeling an emotion, it is Active. We are presently engaging with the sentiment. It is actual. Whether we are in a state of joy, frustration, or silliness, people who are emotional Intelligence would start the process of being proactive. Some will react as soon as it is active. 

 

Proactive Emotion– Proactive is the understanding stage. I know! When you hear proactive, you think before acting. In this case, it goes after active. It is where you step back, identify, and examine the benefits and consequences of reacting to emotions and feeling joy in a Loved one’s pain, getting frustrated with someone who cut us off in traffic, or being silliness during a classmate’s presentation. It is when we stop and think before reacting.

Reactive Emotion – Reactive is the response to the emotional stage. If we completed the first two steps. We are mindful before expressing our emotions. We are not only Emotional Intelligent but accountable for our reactions, which goes hand and hand. You have some work to do if you react to the emotion once you feel it. 

 

In Conclusion, Intelligence is good for business and showing off our academic prowess. But, being intelligent emotionally will enhance our relationship by teaching us to use our emotions to build deep connections, saving us countless drama and needing forgiveness in the process. So use this blog as a guide to becoming more emotionally adequate and encourage your Loved ones to do the same. It will strengthen the relationship bond while building more accountable relationships. 

The LoveSnobs