Emotional Intelligence in relationships is a process. It is essential to build accountable relationships. Emotional Intelligence is a term many people have heard, maybe even researched, and studied. Yet, how many people understand the process? Well, in this blog, we are going to do just that. It defines Emotional Intelligence and explains the process and how to use it within our relationships.
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is most often defined as the ability to perceive, use, understand, manage, and handle emotions. As stated by (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence)
Now that we have defined our term. The question is, how do we actualize and build stronger connections through Emotional Intelligence?
First, we must stop thinking emotions vary to the individual.
Emotions were designed to allow us to become more interconnected, not forge division. So, when experiencing happiness, anger, or fear, we must realize and have a set definition of the emotions to understand them. Continuously changing the descriptions to fit circumstances instead of understanding their connective meanings is confusing.
Second, align the “correct” emotion with the adequate experience.
We all know the person that has a hard time being vulnerable, so they laugh to keep from crying at a funeral, fixate on a missed shot though they won the championship, or punch you in the arm when you tell them you Love them. It is how that individual handles these moments, but it is a sign of a lack of Emotional Intelligence. Responding inaccurately to an emotion creates a disconnect, and as stated before, emotions are supposed to connect us.
Third, identify if the emotion will advance or hinder our relationships.
When interacting, we have to start with the bases that everyone feels. We all can feel different feelings within the same experience. Like on a rollercoaster, some are terrified, while others are excited. Both people have been on five or more rollercoasters. The intent is to be excited, which is a rational emotion. The enthusiastic person understands they don’t have control once on the coaster. They are ready to embrace the experience. The scared person is terrified for several reasons: they are trying to prove something to someone or themselves. Second, they think they have more control than deciding to get on the coaster (which is irrational.) Same with a relationship. You will understand and honor your agreements if you genuinely want to be committed. But, if you join any bond for the wrong reasons, you will sabotage the relationship.
The three processes listed above are how we can prepare to interact with others by becoming more emotionally intelligent. Now, we can discuss how we can actualize it. When connecting with others.
Actualizing Emotional Intelligence in relationships has three processes: Active, Proactive, and Reactive. Most people have seen this process arranged differently (proactive, active, and reactive.) Yet, in real-time, the method is different. So, let’s get into the explanation of why.
Active Emotion– When we are feeling an emotion, it is Active. We are presently engaging with the sentiment. It is actual. Whether we are in a state of joy, frustration, or silliness, people who are emotional Intelligence would start the process of being proactive. Some will react as soon as it is active.
Proactive Emotion– Proactive is the understanding stage. I know! When you hear proactive, you think before acting. In this case, it goes after active. It is where you step back, identify, and examine the benefits and consequences of reacting to emotions and feeling joy in a Loved one’s pain, getting frustrated with someone who cut us off in traffic, or being silliness during a classmate’s presentation. It is when we stop and think before reacting.
Reactive Emotion – Reactive is the response to the emotional stage. If we completed the first two steps. We are mindful before expressing our emotions. We are not only Emotional Intelligent but accountable for our reactions, which goes hand and hand. You have some work to do if you react to the emotion once you feel it.
In Conclusion, Intelligence is good for business and showing off our academic prowess. But, being intelligent emotionally will enhance our relationship by teaching us to use our emotions to build deep connections, saving us countless drama and needing forgiveness in the process. So use this blog as a guide to becoming more emotionally adequate and encourage your Loved ones to do the same. It will strengthen the relationship bond while building more accountable relationships.
The LoveSnobs
