We see the words “Arguing is great for our relationships”; our first instinct is to reject the concept. Why? The word “Argue” has become a bad word. We believe it’s the absence of logic, and nothing will get accomplished. Causing us to keep our thoughts to ourselves, retreat in solitude, and avoid conflict. Then, we wonder why our esteem is so low.
Arguments are where the merging of ideas takes place. An article in Psychology Today titled “The Benefits Of Arguing” backs this point. Views are where the merging of ideas takes place. It is our way to assess all the information to form best practices. Conflict will happen within any long-term relationship. It is healthy. If disagreements are not happening, someone is holding back. When people hold back, they will explode, or we will come home one day and their clothes are gone. Those who avoid confrontation are not in relationships. They are so focused on themselves that they can’t connect with others.
“Arguing Is Great For Our Relationships.” we are not saying all arguing is good or everyone knows how to argue. Yet, purposefully arguing is necessary for our relationships’ health and accountability. Picture being in a relationship with no conflicts occurring. Nobody goes up when they should go down, every idea is agreed upon in its exception, and everyone stays on their side of the line. Now, picture people who disagree with the sole purpose of moving forward together. What Relationship do you want?
Relationships are to connect, not to avoid disconnecting.
Think about the sentence.
We are connecting not to disconnect vs. connecting because we are confident we can resolve disconnections. We want authentic relationships, not relationships that are governed by fear. Arguing will get us that authenticity.
How do we argue to make our Relationship more authentic?
When people believe they can disagree and not lose but gain closeness. They are more inclined to share their thoughts. When Relationships revolve around best practices, we argue to promote collectivity, not a singular agenda. The objective is to strengthen the bond, arguing with purpose.
Remember, we create relationships to challenge and enhance the identities involved, prioritizing the collective health. That enhancement comes in the form of challenging each other’s biases. We all have Biases, whether conscious or unconscious. For example, when raised in a traditional home, we can believe women do one thing and men do others. We can have a spouse or friends who believe something different. Without having the ability to address those differences, there would be a divide in the Relationship. Arguing allows us to discuss these topics and change minds while enriching the quality of our bonds in the process.
Think about it.
What we fear about arguing is people’s egos. Thinking it will get in the way of progress. Being fearful of the “Ego” is understandable. Ego is an “I thing.” It is more about being validated than promoting best practices. A vice most of us suffer from but can overcome with a shift of mentality, which starts with looking at arguing differently. We shouldn’t fear engaging in the conflict. Again, arguments are a clash of ideas. Ego Arguing prevents them from being one ideal.
So, embrace the dispute; it will tell us who’s in our life. Are we into drama or resolution? Dramatic people avoid, and Resolvers engage.
Arguing Is Great For Our Relationships; why we engage makes the difference.
Think about it.
The LoveSnobs
