Is Ego Your Drug Of Choice In Your Relationships?
We use the term “drug of choice” because ego is a way people escape the responsibilities of their relationships. There are more than four ways people get egotistical, but we chose to highlight these four because they get overlooked most often.
Read each description and see if it sounds like you — or like someone you’re in a relationship with right now.
Four Ego Traits That Affect Our Relationships
1. The Deflector
The Deflector’s ego won’t let them take responsibility for their wrongs. They’re the “we’re all human, we all make mistakes” person — stating the obvious to shield themselves from accountability. When it’s time to discuss why they acted selfishly, they redirect to everyone else’s failings. And when pressed, they say they “didn’t want to be judged” — implying the other person is too hard to be honest with, so it’s really their fault the Deflector couldn’t be straightforward.
2. The Martyr
The Martyr is the Deflector’s opposite. Their ego won’t let them hold others accountable. They avoid conflict by absorbing every problem themselves, then act like the bigger, better person for staying in an unhealthy relationship. They’re the person who stayed 30 years because their faith demanded it — but shouldn’t the person who dragged them through the mud have honored that faith too? Martyrs tend to push good people away to protect their unhealthy bonds, all while claiming they’re just “not judgmental.”
3. The Self-Loather
The Self-Loather’s ego poisons them, and in turn poisons the relationship. They’re the “I hate myself, so no one else can hate me” person. They commit acts of relationship sabotage. You can’t hold them accountable because they’ve already beaten themselves up first — isolating, using a substance, or saying they need help they never actually pursue. They stay stuck in the same negative cycles.
4. The Perspective Person
The Perspective Person is the politician. Their ego won’t let them give a definitive answer, but they’ll challenge anyone who does. They want to see every side and refuse to decide. Looking at all sides is good — but relationships require decisions. They lead from behind, labeling every decision-maker as rigid or inflexible, while making no decisions of their own. They’re the “commitment is restrictive” people who still want to be everyone else’s priority.
Read, Learn, And Apply
These are only four of the ways ego shows up in our relationships. We hope reading them helps you spot the pattern — in yourself or someone you love — and make the changes that build healthier, more accountable relationships.
Read, learn, and apply.
The LoveSnobs
If you need assistance with your Ego, The LoveSnobs will partner with you.
