Boundaries In Relationships
Let’s talk about boundaries in relationships.
There’s a long line of people waiting for our acceptance. But what a person won’t accept is just as important. Boundaries. The “no” in a relationship. The invisible protection around our moral fiber.
What Are Boundaries?
Boundaries are the beliefs we won’t forfeit for anyone on earth. Yes, we don’t know it all, and knowledge changes us over time. But boundaries are the certainty of the reflection in the mirror. They keep us from losing the person everyone recognizes, without ever limiting our ability to learn.
So what are boundaries? They’re our decision-makers for the moments when we aren’t in the right state of mind to decide for ourselves.
Why Are Boundaries So Important?
That last line is the answer: boundaries are our checks and balances when a decision is required.
When we enter a relationship, we talk about what we want. Boundaries push us to name what we don’t want in the same breath. You can look someone in the face and say, “I want a person who prioritizes us, who’s straightforward, who’s dedicated” — while also being clear about why you’re interested in connecting at all.
Boundaries give us certainty in something as unpredictable as merging two lives.
Why do boundaries feel like limitations?
So why are we so afraid of them? Boundaries feel like limitations because, in a sense, they are — but not the kind we usually fear.
A limitation stifles your ability to reach your full potential. A boundary does the opposite. It narrows your focus so you can reach the full potential of the relationship, without either person compromising their core values.
When we establish boundaries, we establish agreements — and those agreements solidify the relationship’s health—Knowing the terms is what lets us navigate the unknown.
How Do Boundaries Mean “I Love You”?
Knowing what makes a person tick is the beginning of “I love you.” When two people build a relationship where they accept the terms of each other’s boundaries, they start building an accountable existence together. It means they’re committed to building a home inside the guidelines they agreed to.
Most people think love is about flying to the moon. Love is actually about agreeing to keep each other grounded. That’s why boundaries mean I love you — they’re the very fabric of a commitment. The clarity in a forever-changing world.
Start The Conversation Early
Boundaries are essential to the health of any relationship because they give us a road map for staying on course. They’re how we hold each other accountable for honoring what we built.
So let’s start discussing our boundaries early — before the relationship needs them.
Read, learn, and apply.
