What are Accountable Relationships?

Accountable Relationships are relationships governed by choosing to honor agreements. They are primarily Friends, Romantic Partners, and Co-parents. These are all relationships we consciously choose. However, you can have an accountable relationship with a relative, but only when you build a friendship component.

What Is The Difference Between An Accountable Relationship and Any Other Relationship?

We knew you were asking yourself this question when you read the title. What makes an Accountable Relationship different from any other relationship? The first thing that comes to mind is that relationships vary based on commitment, time, and investment (We discuss “The Four Types of Relationships” in another blog.) But, to stay on topic, what makes Accountable Relationships different is that they are centered around friendships, romantic partners, and co-parenting.
It’s an agreement (choice) to be a part of something bigger than ourselves.

Accountable Relationships allow us to identify the choice over the obligation of a relationship. For example, we are born into a family with circumstances. It was not a choice, yet we carry the last name, bloodline, and connections by inhaling. When we start a friendship, romantic partnership, or have children, we must partner with others to enhance our lives and theirs.
Consequently, we are expected to honor promises within these bonds. Meaning we’re directly responsible for the success or failure of these relationships. They are the people we chose!

What Makes These Relationships Accountable?

Good question! Yes, some use the word friends loosely. People always break up, and not everyone honors the choice to be a co-parent. All this is true. What makes relationships accountable is how they are constructed.

First, we should define what it means to be a friend, couple, and parent.

If we can’t commit to the labels, how can we commit to the bond the titles represent? I know many people have bought into this everyone is “different” movement, but Accountable Relationships are about getting on the “same” page. So, before committing, agree on what each title means before moving forward.

Second, discuss the long-term value you bring to each other’s lives.

We can’t say this enough, “stop calling strangers your friend or romantic partner, and stop having children with strangers.” Before you agree to lifetime committed titles, ensure you know them enough to understand their long-term value. Accountable Relationships are about having purpose through bonds, not just passing the time. So, discuss the long-term goals which would make the roles clear.

Third, keep the lines of communication flowing.

We should never center our ability to communicate around an emotional response. Yes, it may be overwhelming, but providing choice is fundamental in an accountable relationship. People can’t make informed decisions without being informed. So, make sure you are communicating and allowing the strength of your connection to dictate the terms. Nothing is too little or too big if your relationship is solid.

Fourth, once we have committed to a friendship or romantic partner or decided to co-parent, we should allow our core values and principles to lead.

Our values are our relationship boundaries. They should be reasonable enough to have a quality life. Yet, strong enough to protect the foundation of our relationships. For example, a friend’s child has stolen something from your home. Your first thought is not to make it a big deal, believing it will cause more harm than good. But, one of the relationship’s core values is honesty. You say something, follow the agreement, and trust your relationship can withstand your honesty. Remember, we do not govern our principles. They govern us.

Are You In Accountable Relationships?

If yes, you can read this blog and check every box without a problem. If your answer is no, get everyone you Love together and rebuild the foundation of your relationships. No more worrying about being Judged. You should be judged by how you and others merge into each other’s lives. Accountable Relationships are connections with people who take pride in honoring their commitments to one another. They embrace the village mentality.

By The LoveSnobs