When sitting and watching a television series, I heard someone say, “if it doesn’t succeed, someone is going to have to pay.” We take this same approach with our relationships. We say, “I have been heartbroken before, so prove you are different.” We don’t factor in the other person in has also been hurt. Maybe not in the same way, but wounded nonetheless. Believing past pain gives us the right to interrogate future connections.
Stop! Think about how relationships should begin. Wanting someone to pay is counterproductive. Should the relationship’s foundation start with “prove it?” Or do we say this is a fresh beginning? Step back and ask yourself these four questions: do I like this person? Do I want to get to know the person in front of me? Am I ready to be responsible for the well-being of another? Am I willing to allow someone to be accountable for mine? Once you answer each question honestly, trust the chemistry between you.
Someone must pay for it if it doesn’t succeed, but what if it does? It may not be successful, and people may get hurt. But squandering an opportunity to have a great friendship or life partner will be more harmful. So, study the past. Allow it to be a guide for unwanted company. However, please don’t use it to push away wanted bonds. Your quality of life depends on you knowing the difference.
