First Dates – Four Ways To Build A Strong Foundation
First dates aren’t tricky if you aren’t trying to be tricky. When people say “be yourself on the first date,” what they mean is: let the other person actually get to know you. Tell them who you were, who you are, and who you want to be. Don’t hold back, and don’t second-guess yourself. The truth will make your decisions for you.
Here are four ways to start building toward a lifetime partnership.
1. Show Up To The Date
Don’t listen to anyone who tells you to hide who you are. Show up to merge — highlight the good along with the bad, and give the relationship a positive direction from the start. Never let doubt cloud your judgment. Give the person in front of you an informed choice.
The worst that can happen is another last date. The best case is a second date that turns into the rest of your life. Either way, the foundation gets set.
2. Pick A Place To Talk
Choosing the right place matters. The First Date runs several hours on average, so spend that time talking about your past, your present, and how both futures would look together. Remember, the goal is finding a life partner, not passing time. Make every moment count. When you walk away from the date, walk away with certainty.
3. Ignore The Physical
Sex is good. But being physically attracted to someone is different from acting on that attraction. The physical matters in a romantic relationship — it should also be binding. Make sure you’re connected spiritually before you let your bodies bond.
If you believe this person is worth intimacy, go through the process. Get to know them. Connect on core values.
Plan a life together. Then commit by agreeing to join body and soul.
4. Don’t Play Games
Playing games can be fun. Playing with someone’s heart isn’t. If you’re not interested after getting to know them, say so. If you’re ready for a second date, reach out. But don’t ghost them, don’t wait them out, and don’t play coy. Transparency is attractive, and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.
The First Date Is An Evaluation
The first date isn’t the first day of the rest of your life. It’s the evaluation of whether this person could be a life partner. If you’re dedicated to the process, death will be the only thing that can keep you apart.
The LoveSnobs
