How Committed Are You To Your Opinions?

Every human being has thoughts. But what would the world look like if everyone stayed rigidly committed to their opinions? Let’s shrink the sample size and ask it about our relationships instead: what happens if we all lived strictly through our own perspective? We wouldn’t relate to anyone.

So why are we so committed to our opinions? Because it’s common to believe that being right makes us valuable. Yet the more we interact with others, the more we realize our true worth lies in our ability to connect. Having friends. Committing to a spouse. One day having children. None of those relationships can function when we’re more committed to our opinions than to the health of the relationship itself.

Any healthy or accountable relationship involves open dialogue — people honestly discussing their ideas until they reach agreement. That takes the capacity to recognize when someone else’s idea is better for the whole. We call that Best Practice.

What is “Best Practice?”

Merging of our ideas is the merging of our ideas into a connective purpose. It’s a structure that encourages us to stand still until we can move as one. According to reporting in NewsWeek, researchers found the average person has around 6,000 thoughts a day. That means roughly 6,000 opinions moving in and out of our heads daily. So the idea that our opinions house our identity doesn’t hold up.

Then what actually makes us who we are? A combination of our beliefs, our principles, and the decisions we make. Those three things are what connect us to other people.

Share Them — Just Don’t Marry Them

So, how committed are you to your opinions? We share them with strangers, with colleagues, and with the people we love. But before we attach absolute devotion to them, we have to accept that they’ll be challenged, confirmed, discounted, or dismissed by others. Why? Because everyone else has opinions too, and they believe theirs just as wholeheartedly.

So when we share our thoughts inside our relationships, the goal should be synergy — not investing all our stock in our own view. The focus is working together to reach agreement.

The art of reaching agreement is the cornerstone of Best Practice. It’s the structure of using every idea available to find the best course of action.

So ask yourself: am I in this relationship to validate myself, or did I add these people to my life to verify our connection? Your answer will tell you who you are in your relationships — and it will make you examine who you are as a person.

But What About Convictions?

I know you’re asking. If we don’t stand for something, we’ll fall for anything.

We’re not saying people shouldn’t have convictions. But convictions should be built on known, proven commodities. The problem starts when our opinions lack validity and we tie them to our self-worth and identity anyway. How can we stay convicted to an idea that keeps failing us?

So yes — have conviction. Just base it on honoring the quality of your relationships. That will require challenging each other’s opinions until only agreements remain.

Our commitment shouldn’t be to something as fluid as an opinion. Our commitment should be to our agreements.

So — how committed are you to your opinions? If your answer is still very, ask yourself whether you’re ready to be in an accountable, healthy relationship.

The LoveSnobs